More or Less?

We all know someone who says ‘much’. You know the type; the person who goes on and on, saying the same thing over and over in a slightly different way. Or, the person who says many words, but the content of such is low. Politicians come to mind most readily for this description, but there are real-life people we encounter who do this as well. I often say this about a few select people I encounter in meetings at work: “He talked for a few minutes but I have no idea what he said”. But on the other hand, I think we all know some people who say ‘little’. These people are typically the types we go to when we have a problem, because they are such good listeners. Or, they are the type of person who you find it near impossible to argue or disagree with because they don’t always express their opinion or state every thought that comes to mind. Calculated thinkers, or speakers. I think each type of person has their place and serves a purpose, but personally, I struggle with the former type of person. I either find myself bogged down by the amount of information being thrown at me, or I get lost in the volume of words without content and my brain loses focus.

I find this to be true when I’m reading as well. By nature, book writing has to be descriptive - especially when I think about fiction works. To create a whole setting, plot, characters, and conflicts, a story has to be fleshed out well in the author’s mind. They then have to translate their thoughts onto paper so that readers can enjoy them equally. Vivid descriptions can help a reader feel like they are really there in the action, which further brings the emotions associated with the story to life, or the characters feel like friends of yours. However, I think the extreme can sometimes take away from the experience, at least for me. When there is too much description, I feel like I don’t have much room in my brain to imagine it for myself. And that takes some of the experience away. Or, if there’s extraneous use of descriptor words within one sentence or scene where I feel bogged down with information that I just want them to stop describing and get on with the plot. Maybe I’m talking too much about people talking too much that the point is now lost.

Anywho, here’s what I’m trying to say: people who use too many words without content, make my brain work hard to find a meaning, just to be disappointed that there’s nothing there. I strive to not do that, but know that at times, especially when I’m not 100% sure where I’m going with a point, or when I’m not confident in what I’m saying, I do this. I’m attempting to make an effort, especially when speaking to people face to face to say more content, but not always more words. To wait, and think about what I want to say, to not just pile on platitudes because it’s easy and sounds good (because it doesn’t always sound good to the recipient). To be confident in what I’m trying to say, and say it. But, it’s difficult. The world is LOUD. Stimulation, and words can constantly be found if you’re looking. People desire to be heard, so they keep talking whether there’s something to say or not. And people don’t know how to have a discussion about things they disagree on (a whole post coming about this this year) so they yell to express their point, or speak to fill the silences in between points. There is constant noise. We don’t know what to do with silence. Or, heck, even quiet.

Where can we learn to say less? To listen… To truly hear what the other person is saying… Take it in… Process, and respond. Not everything requires an immediate response or rebuttal. *seriously* Where can you speak less, but say more? More importantly, still, where can you say more with purpose? Is there something or someone you’ve been avoiding because it’s hard to talk about, or you’re like me and try to avoid confrontation? Could you say more, and say what you feel to get it out in the open? Say more when it’s needed for you to give your thoughts, but make sure there’s something for the other person to hear.

Let’s all take a beat, and hear the silence.